This writing is based on a comment I shared with a women who was experiencing emotional distress due to the actions of a ex-boyfriend in her life. I find that it’s general enough to share with a broader audience, and a valuable perspective for women who find themselves attempting to understand the masculine. It also calls the feminine to reach deeper into themselves, in a world that consistently asks them to be superficial.
Background: The women that this was in response to had recently broken up with her boyfriend. The ex had hurt her by only being physical with her for a short time before discarding her. She was feeling used, and very much hurt, due to the ex’s actions. There was a lack of empathy, compassion, respect, responsibility and more that triggered her pain. My response to all she was experiencing is then below. Some of the comment has been edited for a general audience to improve the flow. The essence is still very much intact.
The dystopic reality that we live in, in the sphere of masculine/feminine, is that the masculine identity has culturally been reduced to a less masculine representation (i.e. beta like behavior thinking) which is naturally less attractive, and/or a reduced in the awareness of emotions/feelings within the body/mind, which reduces our awareness on the repercussions of our actions on the collective (society and all other beings) or general external world.
In both cases, the masculine identity is destructive to the order of proceedings in the game with the feminine, let alone on the world.
I posit that you likely experienced a guy who held a stronger masculine frame, therefore inciting attraction, but who also is tribal/contemporary in their approach to the feminine. That approach, to be general, is to claim and conquer, expand and own, build and develop. That approach is not inherently wrong, it is however not tuned with the feeling nature of the human capacity, that capacity that is harmonic, balanced and loving. As such, you will experience the destructive masculine in the microcosm of a relationship, in reflection to the macrocosm destruction of the world, Gaia.
Now, it is unfortunate that the feminine must experience this unbalanced masculine. The feminine, also imperfect in their own way, will experience this destructiveness upon their emotions due to the actions of this masculine holding a stronger masculine frame but without the feeling nature. The masculine will not have awareness of the plight the feminine goes through, nor adjust their actions accordingly to either understand or mitigate the negative effects. In truth, if that were the case, if your ex-boyfriend has his feeling nature intact, then he would never have behaved that way with you, or he would have quickly reflected on the effect on you while reading the situation and prayed for forgiveness. This may occur in the future, should his evolution reach a certain point.
The above approach, the one where the male quickly reflects on his actions and understands the reverberations caused, is rare. You are unlikely to receive that type of positive response of forgiveness, apology, respect. As such, you are here speaking out about the pain, an outlet for quasi-closure. Could you expect a positive behavior response as I outlined in the future? That depends, though again rare.
What is more unfortunate is what might come next – a dulling of your own femininity as a solution to the effects of life and relationships. Paired with defensive mechanisms and a potent facade, the full feminine expression of yours gets lost in a cobweb which is difficult to untangle. Naturally, a man of the caliber you are looking for (the kind who has transcended the tribal masculine that has lost their feeling nature guidance) will be unable to reach your heart due to the layers built up. They will therefore only admire the superficial beauty for a moment, before finding the feminine who is more of their resonance.
The question is who will you become? Who do you choose to be through this opportunistic experience? Will you relegate the feelings he brought up in your own psyche as projections from him? Or will you take ownership of your part of the dance on stage? Will you utilize the feelings you have to choose to be more of who you truly are, breaking down any layers to the gem of your soul?
Experiences are gifts, relationships cut deep into our deepest levels, pain is our teacher, and your opportunity is incredible.
Take the opportunity to come to peace with him and the girl he is seeing. They are more for each other than you were with him. Find peace that your path will lead to what is necessary for you going forward. You don’t need post pictures of yourself to boost your self-esteem in temporary ways. Take that time to be with yourself, in the tears, and soak in the power that brims within. Your tears, emotions and your femininity is your power, and it is unlimited.
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