Long – Distance Communications

Since young, I have found myself resorting to connections within the physical spaces. By this I mean, face-to-face interaction always felt ‘right’. I didn’t favor long-distance communication. It felt empty, illusory, dreamy and removed from reality.

Through my physical and long-distance connections I’ve come to a experiential perspective to the nature of today’s connected world and the underlining meaning of need to stay connected.

This write-up is an experimental attempt at expressing what I feel/think when confronted with either long-distance or physical communications. It is in the form of a dialectic, that is a back and forth discussion of questions and answers. The questions will be by Moica and I answering them.

The Dialectic

Moica – You don’t stay in touch, and often cut people off after leaving a place or moving into new situations in your life, why is this so?

Moose – Let us take a look at that in a few different ways shall we? We must ask ourselves why stay in touch, and for what purpose? From that inquiry, we can understand why I tend to complete interactions with people, or cut people off, as a chapter is closing in my life, and the benefits of this. More so, I need to mention how fruitful it is be 100% attentive to the new chapter of my life, with little to no tendrils of the past creeping in.

Moica – So be it, why do we stay in touch over long distances?

Moose – In today’s world, for security, safety and often out of fear. For the person who is traveling away, the new world they encounter may be uncertain, unfamiliar and difficult. Being outside our comfort zone and contending with the new world is not easy, and there is an easy solution – reach out to those of the past who are known and comforting. If something is to go wrong, we can always contact them through a call or message and feel safe.

For those who are left behind, they may have insecurities about the safety of the person who has left. They worry and fear that the other will not be okay without their supporting hand, or that the person will ‘move on’ and forget about them. They have fears of being abandoned or alone. They reach out to check on their departed friend or relative in the hopes of staving off upsetting emotions that brew within them.

Moica – Surely it cannot be that all interactions over distance stem from an emotion of fear? What of interactions that are of genuine joy and of sharing with one another the pleasures of the new land?

Moose – Here we need to distinguish between how the interaction ended before departure.

In the case where it would be unlikely to meet each other ever again, then the purpose of connecting only speaks of unfinished emotional matter lingering forward. Humanity often views positive outcomes as beneficial, and negative outcomes as detrimental. By this I mean, say the person who left has a fantastic time in the next chapter of his life, if this be the case why would it be necessary to share with someone who he will never meet again? May he continue to prosper in his new endeavors. To share it with the one from before is to say that he is feeling a level of incompleteness, and by opening connection and sharing his life he is fulfilling some un-met need. Joy and happiness is a state of mind, and way of being, not dependent on any other person or place, therefore to share it with one who has already left our lives is pointless. This same view applies visa-versa, or the case where the person left behind is experiencing a fantastic time in the new chapter.

Say that in the above scenario of the two people never meeting again that the person who left is not having a joyful time. He may be facing serious difficulties. In that case as well, sharing the difficulties with a comforting individual of the past is a temporary balm that does not alleviate the problem. I hear you say that maybe the comforting friend may share wisdom and guidance, and I say in return that it is unnecessary. The puzzles of our lives can be solved by the pieces in front of us. We need not dig into the old puzzle sets to complete the puzzle in front of us. It is for us to discover, grow and evolve through the uncomfortable situation placed in front of us without shying away. It may be more difficult to meet a new friend and then reach a level of intimacy to share the problems at hand. It is this difficulty that will help us to expand into more of who we are. This is the quest of our journey.

In the case where the two will meet again, why dilute the joys and trials of the time through sub-par methods of communication? In the case where there are trials, would not the two find greater expansion and growth by not relying on one another during their time apart? And in the case of the joys, is it not more exciting to share in person? Some couples of today communicate blow-by-blow details of their day over text message, resulting in little to communicate over dinner. The beauty of the days experiences are divided up into chunks of texts and peppered throughout the day, diluting them into drops of water rather than a glass of cool water for the thirsty individual.

Yet we live in this world today, with communication over distance leading to connection over distance, and it is implicitly understood to society for those close to one another to stay in touch.

It need not matter what society does. Simply because the majority of society has the desire to fulfill greed to an exponential degree without introspecting as to what unfilled hole within themselves is being satiated does not mean it is wise, just or a moral course of action. Likewise, much like how the internet today can be a tool for useless escapades or be a gateway of self-evolution, we need not engage the modalities of long-distance communication present to us for the satiating of emotional needs or for momentary distractions.

What I mean to say is that we could indulge in long-distance connection if it serves a lofty purpose. This lofty purpose is the development of self towards an evolved man that reaches into the next octave of existence. In simpler terms, we may communicate with those close to us over distance if and only if the conversations and exchanges serve us understanding thyself, thereby inching us towards greater and greater levels of enlightenment.

Moica – And so do you not find many long-distance connections to be serving this purpose of self-evolution towards a greater being?

Moose – I have found that self-evolution, or to be more precise the understanding of the deeper levels of our psyche and consciousness, requires greater and greater levels of finesse of inquiry. This greater level of inquiry is proportional to the depth of connection. Deeper connection is possible through the physical interactions that occur on a consistent basis.

Far too much information is omitted in our current rudimentary forms of long-distance communication. Static messages can be acutely edited for presenting the perfect image, dynamic conversations over call or video can be subtly altered to present a skewed image of the actual situation.

The totality of life goes far beyond our conscious awareness, and it is outside our conscious awareness that lies the wisdom that is our next greatest discovery. It is already daunting to discover this hidden wisdom while using all our faculty. To then to limit the expansive knowledge that can be gleaned from a physical interaction to the reduced knowledge from long-distance interact is akin to this simile — Imagine you must shoot either of two targets, both 100 ft away. One target is the size of a large balloon and the other is the size of a golf ball. Successfully hitting either target wins the prize. Tell me, which are you more likely to aim for?

Moica – You mean to say that it is rare for there to be the possibility of deep self-development through long-distance connection, which is why you do not indulge in it. What of the utility that our communication modalities provide?

Moose – To this, I say utilize what is available to carry out whatever intention is at hand. Should I desire to to reach point B from point A, and a car is of greatest speed, then I shall use the technology of a car. If I must quickly communicate using technology for some endeavor, then a phone call will work. A computer program will repeat itself constantly, automating a daily action we take and saving time for other pursuits. The function and utility of what is present before us can be used completely.

Moica – What say you to others then, how can they utilize the technologies at hand for greatest benefit?

Moose – For this, each has their own notion of what is greatest benefit, and they will often apply their notions effectively. However, should they feel what I have presented here to be of use to them, I present a short guideline for the communications and connections that happen over distance.

1. Inquire and reflect as to the nature of the connection
2. Inquire and reflect as to why we remain in the connection, and what emotions cause us to stay in it
3. If upon inquiry we realize that the connection is only serving the purpose of being a supporting figure, or like the training wheels on a bike, we best remove them hastily. There need not be reason to remain in the training wheel stage for long.
4. If the connection is instrumental in our development, then continue it with a focus on the development aspect, with all other conversational matters being filler content that serves to bridge different development moments in the connection.

Conclusion

The underlining point I am attempting to point out here is that humanity is staying in touch with each other more as a clutch, in the hopes that the connection will serve a purpose today or in the future, rather than for the purpose of evolution. If this is not the case, humanity wants to be included into the happenings of peoples lives and their social circles. By learning about what others are doing or up to, they are able to evaluate their own standing.

I often do not find this to be necessary in my life, since I firmly believe that should there be a time for communication with someone at a distance for the purpose of development/evolution/need, then that communication will happen. Further, I intend to live my own life without much reflection of where society is, or where a peer group is, in terms of the usual indicators of progression of life. These indicators are commonly seen as financial wealth, achievements, health, relationship status, and more.

Therefore I do not indulge in small-talk or unnecessary communication. This keeps me available for communication that I do deem of value, either for it’s evolutionary purpose for myself, or for the purpose of sincerely assisting another on the journey of life.